No Headline fits ...

Every once in a while, I'll sit down at the computer and decide that I want to make a blog entry. Some of them (or most) are just rambling stream of consciousness exercises that I'll hastily grammar and spell check. Actually, I don't really even spell check all of them. Anyway, let's just get into this one ...

I spent an hour today talking to a long-lost friend (Lynnea). It was so great to hear her voice and to catch up with her. I've known her for five years but I have only met her once -- yet she is one of the most important people in my life. I consider her to be like family to me. We have had so many wonderful conversations together. Some were philosophical and some were just purely comical. She is, by and far, the most amazing woman I've ever known. That's ridiculous, right? I've only met her once in person -- how could she really mean that much to me? I'd have to step back and put my emotions into perspective. I would have to describe in words the nearly impossible to put into words emotions that I feel when I think of her.

The one thing that I treasure most about her is that we have a very deep friendship based on trust and respect. I have always reserved my emotions of love when it comes to women because I have trust issues. However, she is the one woman in my life that I completely trust. To be honest, it feels so overwhelmingly pure and amazing to be able to have just one woman out there who I could tell anything to and not feel embarrassed or ashamed.

Unfortunately, I've made mistakes that have hurt her in one way or another. They were stupid mistakes that were unintentional, since I would never intentionally hurt her or even risk any action that would make her cry or feel emotional pain. I am human and make some very human mistakes, obviously.

Unfortunately when I try to write about emotions, I generally fail miserably. My biggest fear is the inability to put the feelings I have in my heart into words and, in the process, degrading those emotions and feelings. Some things simply cannot be put into words.

She is an amazing woman. I wouldn't hesitate in any decision with respect to spending the rest of my life with her. On a spiritual level, I will always be there for her and with her in some aspect.

Throughout history, there have always been stories of two people who have always had a very deep spiritual bond. Some of the people in those stories didn't wind up getting married or spending their lives together in that capacity. As a spiritual person myself, I believe there are levels of love that go even deeper than the human concept of marriage. Many would disagree with me, obviously. I don't see *this* life as the only mode of existence.

Well, I really must work on my ability to be a bit more concise with my writing because I don't know exactly what I am trying to say. I guess what I really want to say is that I do love her with all my heart and that it makes me feel wonderful. She does make me happy, even if we aren't able to see each other. That's a pretty powerful statement. Even considering all the times I go out and all the women I meet and have some relationship with, Lynnea fills my heart with something much more powerful and potent than any girl I've met or dated in person.

I'm sure I am a tad bit on the insane side. Most of my closest friends realize this. A lot of people would consider me to be a hopeless romantic. Actually, I'm just a complex person with a huge heart. I love humanity -- I love making people laugh and smile.

Even though I write in a blog, I consider myself on many levels to be a private man. There are things about me that only a few people know. Lynnea is one of them. I would tell her anything. If she needed someone to hug her, I'd be on the first flight out to Colorado. Just for a hug. Perhaps I am crazy, but there is such an overwhelming beauty to that aspect of insanity. What guy would go through all that trouble just to give someone a hug if she needed one?

I have done a lot of traveling and will continue to do even more, but in all of my travels I will never meet someone as amazing, beautiful and precious as Lynnea.

She's just a beautiful woman with an immense heart.