Catching Up

I haven't written anything in almost a week yet it feels like only a few days. That's how fast my life feels like it has been moving lately. I've been going out every night now -- my partying energy is stronger now than it ever was. There is definitely something amazing about being in your 30's and enjoying the night-life. I'm at the age now where I don't care about what other people think or about making an impression. I am very confident with who I am and once you get that genuine form of confidence, it just radiates outwards and people take notice. I've been approached more in the past few months by women than throughout most of my 20's -- even when I was working out daily and had a muscle-tone similar to a finely chiseled Greek statue. ;)

I'm now going back to the gym and working out harder than I ever have. I'm not fat by any stretch of the imagination, but I would like to drop 20 pounds and replace it with a nice toned body. I don't want to be "big" -- just "toned." Unfortunately, I'm learning that the older I get, the more I push to accomplish more things -- but then there are only so many hours in the day. Every day I wake up, I make a quick mental list in my head of what I'm going to do and sometimes I realize I don't have enough time to do it all.

Take for instance a typical day from last week:

Wake up at 7am.
Shower and shave.
Go to work around 8am in Annapolis
Work for an hour, then drive to DC to work in my other office
Continue working non-stop until 1:30pm -- grab an energy bar for lunch.
Work during lunch.
Leave DC and go back to Annapolis to switch the company car for my car.
Head out at 5:30pm to meet a client for some side-work.
Spend 3 and a half hours working on a project for him.
Leave around 9:00pm and go to Acme Bar and Grille on Main Street.
Grab a few drinks and serve as the front door bouncer until 12:30am.
Head back home, work on two projects for school.
Finally get to sleep around 3:00am, only to wake up at 7:00am.

I'm not complaining. I love the work and the money. The money is secondary, but it feels good to make more than I need so I can throw it in the bank. I don't really work for money in my mind, but I've noticed that the stronger the desire to work and succeed, the more abundant the money becomes. In my opinion, one should never work with only money as the goal. If you have dreams and ambitions and are willing to work hard to achieve them, the money will always be there in the background.

Over the weekend, I went to two "fark.com" parties and met a lot of cool people. I made some awesome friends and had a great time. The cool thing about going into D.C. is that I can ride the Metro into the city. I have no idea why, but I really love riding trains. I feel that it is almost therapeutic in some ways. When I was in London and New York City, I would often ride the tubes / subway and get off at a random spot and just explore the area. Riding trains just kicks ass!

This week will be extremely tough and busy -- but I love it! The best part about the entire day is the one hour I can spend in the gym. I lift weights here and there, but my favorite machine is the treadmill. The feeling of running and sweating and burning off stress is an amazing one. I enter my own internal world while listening to songs from my Ipod and just run and run and run while thinking about the day, the future and organizing all my thoughts.

One thing I have learned while in the earliest phase of my early thirties is that this world basically runs off and thrives on personal relationships. I was told while growing up that "networking" and "touching base" with others is so important in the business world. The best piece of advice I could ever give anyone is to cultivate friendships and network with others. However, like working just for making more money, one should never forge new friendships solely for the purpose of using them to get ahead.

The short story of all of this is that when you live your life modestly and genuinely care about yourself and others, the elements of happiness begin to fall in place. Keeping yourself healthy, both physically and mentally, while allowing yourself to explore new adventures and meet new people is, in my opinion, the easiest path to finding happiness.

Just imagine many years from now, when we are all on our death beds reflecting back on our lives. What will have really mattered to our lives at that point? The money we made? The car we drove? The big house on the beach that we worked so hard to get? No, the only real thing in our lives will be the memories of the people we shared experiences and emotions with. Everything else will only be interesting background pieces to an otherwise "relationship driven" life.

The most beautiful thing that I have discovered in life is that there really is no such thing as a mistake or a failed relationship. With mistakes, what we are really faced with is the realization that, at some point on our life, we should have turned left instead of right. However, in retrospect, many of the things that I once considered to be mistakes later turned out to be the best thing for my life at that time.

With relationships, many of the ones we have with friends or lovers might eventually fail -- but the beautiful thing is that the word "fail" doesn't really apply. It isn't an accurate way of looking at the experiences. We learn from them and go on to create even closer relationships with others. Life is nothing but a stream of relationships that move through our soul and help us learn who we are as a person. How could such a beautiful thing like that ever be considered a failure?

Also, I'm really tired of so many "self-help" books that rehash the same overused rhetoric from previous books. Most of the points from which these books form their entire premise can be summarized in a very small list. This is the list I keep for myself that has helped me grow immensely as a person:

1. Eat healthy and keep diverse in your food choice

Turn an otherwise dull quick dinner into an experience. Order foods you have never tried before. Keep a diverse pallet and open yourself to new experiences. Go out to dinner with a friend or lover and share the experience together. Take turns and order for the other person if you are daring. Again, the emphasis I am trying to make is to turn eating into a fun social experience. Oh, and drink a glass of red wine each day!

2. Work out and keep your body healthy

This should be something that everyone wants to do. Find a cardiovascular exercise you enjoy and just do it. It is amazing how much working out regularly stabilizes one's mood and increases energy throughout the day.

3. Treat others with respect -- no matter who they are

Again, this should be evident but a lot of people don't do this. Whether I am speaking to a senior vice-president or a janitor, I treat them with respect and admiration when they love what they do. One should always treat another as they would want to be treated themselves. This is called a lot of things by others (i.e. The Golden Rule, etc.) but it is such an easy to do and fundamental thing.

4. Call your parents or spend time with them

The older I get, the more I realize why they did much of what they did when I was a kid. Your parents, uncles, aunts, grandparents are such an amazing source of wisdom.

5. Realize that bad things happen to good people and vice-versa.

Don't dwell on things outside of your control. Learn to move on and conquer the next challenge. Sometimes things happen in such a way that a genuinely good person is placed in a bad situation. Just take it in stride and learn that sometimes we have to hurt to grow.

6. Don't hate or hold grudges. Learn to forgive

If a relationship fails, don't hold hatred in your heart. If someone makes a mistake, learn to forgive them. This doesn't mean you have to necessarily let others walk over you -- but after you tell them in clear terms that what they did upset you, learn to move on. Life is too short to hold grudges and retain hatred.

7. Take responsibility for your own mistakes

No one is perfect. If you make a mistake, take responsibility for it. We live in a culture where so many people feel that they are incapable of mistakes and therefore need to point the finger elsewhere. Own up to your shortcomings and learn from them. Learn that saying, "I'm sorry," doesn't make you weak.

8. Accept the fact that material possessions are immaterial to happiness

Its fun to drive a fast sports car or own a nice house and there is nothing wrong with it. However, once you find yourself purchasing things for showing instead of enjoyment or entertainment, you are heading in the wrong direction. Remember, a human being only needs food, water, clothing, shelter and love to survive -- everything else is just ... well, everything else.

9. Don't be afraid to express your emotions

Tell the person you love that you love them and that you think they are beautiful. Not just the first few times you go out, but throughout your entire relationship. Although you may think they already know it, being told those things is very endearing and beautiful. It is amazing how easy it is to say, "you look so beautiful," and yet how powerful the results. Treat every day as if it might be someone's last -- so never pass up on a chance to express your emotions.

10. Don't go to bed angry

Simple enough.