Dealing with Panic and Anxiety

It's a beautiful warm spring day and everything seems to be just right with the world. You're sitting at your desk dealing with the drudge of the workday and suddenly without any forewarning, an uneasiness begins to creep over you. You can't pinpoint the source of the uneasiness, but it quickly spirals out of control until your face becomes flushed and your heart rate begins to skyrocket. Suddenly a strong sense of paranoia overtakes your body as you suddenly feel the need to fight or flee. The entire world seems to come crashing down on you when just a few minutes ago there was no indication that anything was wrong.

This is the beginning of an anxiety attack, and it can be devastating. I've had a number of them during the past few years and they always seem to erupt without the faintest warning signs. I've spent countless hours awake in my bed at night with thoughts racing through my head.

"What am I doing with my life?"

"Am I doing the right things?"

"Why does the world feel like it is barring down on me?"

The state of Panic -- How to deal with attacks

The first time I had a full fledged panic attack, I felt my heart beginning to beat irregularly. I thought I was having a heart attack or that my heart was starting to
fibrillate. I felt a painless emptiness opening up within my chest as I began coughing while running around outside. I needed to run around because I convinced myself that I couldn't die while running. It was a leftover from my reptilian brain where intense fear causes the need to flee. The problem with panic is that it is not an object but a condition that follows you wherever you choose to run.

The worst aspect of a panic attack is the overriding sense of doom and the complete loss of control. It feels as though your entire world is crumbling around you as the most negative thoughts begin to take over your thought processes. The problem with panic is that it is a state of extreme irrationality -- although during the attack it doesn't feel irrational. Where do you run when all it accomplishes is to release yet more adrenaline, thus feeding the attack and stimulating ever more higher states of chaos.

The World is Bleak and Dark

If the rapid heart beat and profuse sweating isn't enough, the psychological torment is far worse. Suddenly everything seems like a problem with no solutions. Your emotions begin to fluctuate uncontrollably as you swing from extreme bouts of fear to manic moments of tears.

"I can't let people see me like this!"

"I need to get away from people!"

You become your own worst enemy in a matter of minutes. Your emotional state implodes in on itself as you begin to succumb to all the evil dark thoughts that suggest a horrible impending emotional doom.

Grabbing Hold of the Light

The only real benefit from suffering from numerous panic attacks is realizing that you do make it to the other side -- at least at some point. With that knowledge, you can put the breaks on a panic attack and ride it down once you realize that the state of your mind is racing out of control due to erroneous interpretations of danger and illusions of perceived threats.

The first thing I do when I slip into a full-fledged panic attack is to concentrate on my breathing. It gives my mind something to focus on other than the thoughts of impending doom. Deep, long breaths while simultaneously making tight fists with my hands and then straightening out my fingers. I tell myself that there is a firestorm of electrical activity taking place in the deeper older sections of my brain and that the storm will die down eventually. If I'm sitting down, I'll close my eyes and imagine a large star about to go nova. I imagine channeling all of my negative energy towards the star until it goes nova, taking my "dirt" along with it.

Realizing the difference between fear, anxiety and panic

Fear in itself is healthy. It allows us to perform under stressful situations with extra energy and sharper focus. Although we may feel that we are trembling, stuttering and sweating, those who are watching us may not notice at all. Most of the perceived threats during moments of fear are illusions within our own mind. The best thing we can do is acknowledge that the fear is natural and healthy and propel ourselves into the moment by turning that fear into positive momentum and energy.

Anxiety is fear clocked in an invisibility blanket. Whereas I recognize the source of my fear when I need to give a speech in front of many people, anxiety brings about feelings of uneasiness and fear from threats that cannot easily be perceived or understood. Anxiety can creep up in our jobs, our relationships and from the most random moments and situations. Generally there is some precursor that begins to move the snowball of fear into motion -- anxiety is the avalanche beginning to form.

Panic is the avalanche. It has weight -- you can feel it bearing down on your soul. Whereas anxiety may prevent us from easily going into new experiences, panic will freeze us solid and cause us to act irrationally without predictability. Panic is a clusterball of fears rolled together that steamrolls over our sense of self and reduces us to merely react to threats that aren't really that threatening.

Anxiety attacks can lead to panic attacks, but some psychologists will say they are one in the same. To me, an anxiety attack is merely heightened levels of anxiety that slow us down while a panic attack completely stops us.