Compassion -- it is an Amazingly Potent Thing

Well, it is Saturday night at 2:30am -- technically Sunday night. I went out tonight and, without exaggeration, was the life of the entire bar. I have been going to Acme for quite some time and a lot of people know me now. The amazing thing is that my intention was never to become such a well-known and well-liked person. Tonight I had guys asking me for my number because they said I was the coolest person they've ever met. That was really flattering. I'm not sure what has happened to me over the past month or two, though. It started when I got back from Denver and has only snowballed since.

Part of it has to do with compassion. When I go out to a bar or a club, I realize that everyone is out to have a good time. I love to see a guy hit on a woman he likes and to succeed with her. I have not attempted to "hook up" with any woman over the past few weeks, but I've gotten more phone numbers and requests to hang out by them than I have ever had in my life. I've got a hundred different nicknames. Two very beautiful women nicknamed me "Louis the 14th" -- whatever that means (but it is cute).

One thing I have noticed, though, is that I am not afraid of expressing my emotions anymore. I've had a few major setbacks in my life lately and one drove me into a deep depression where I thought about ending it. However, I would never do such a thing. Life is too precious and short to throw it away because of a temporary life situation that will improve with time.

When I talk to a girl, I give her a hug and kiss her on the cheek and find something nice to say about her. I don't do it to get laid -- I do it because I want others to feel good about themselves. I had no idea how real Karma really was until I realized that people really care about me and love being with me. I've seen a few unfortunate circumstances where people have said bye to someone assuming they would see them again -- only to never see them because of one of life's unpredictable circumstances.

Tonight I got over six different numbers -- some guys and some girls. Two of the girls were extremely beautiful but my sense of sexuality has currently been pushed aside by my more pure sense of compassion and love for humanity. In essence, I want to help others immensely.

I went out and bought a book and a card for Jason wishing him luck with his job hunting endeavors. He sent me a text telling me that was the most amazing thing anyone has ever done for him. It only took 5 minutes of my time and ten dollars, but it meant the world to him.

In conclusion, I'm realizing very quickly that the smallest investments from the heart (especially when they are from pure intentions) go extremely far in making another person feel good about themselves. I go out every night of the week now because I want to be around other people and I want to know who they are and I want to help them.

I've been filled with such an immense sense of happiness and excitement that words can't really describe it. When I went up to the girl having a bachelorette party, I gave her a hug and kissed her on the cheek and wished her a great marriage and she just smiled from ear to ear.

I can feel myself filling up with an intense and passionate form of sincere love for humanity and it is just overwhelmingly powerful. I haven't been this happy in a very, very long time. Sadly, I've spent a lot of my life denying myself of this most simple pleasure. For some reason, I've resisted expressing my emotions and love for fear of rejection or embarrassment. What I have found, though, is that there is no rejection or embarrassment. Some people close themselves off from the world but when they detect pure and sincere intentions from another person, they tend to allow themselves to open up.

I'm on the verge of an overwhelming life transformation.

To put it bluntly -- I'm no longer afraid to open myself up or risk being vulnerable because I am much more powerful emotionally than I ever gave myself credit for.

This blog is rambling and off the wall, but it feels good for me to be able to articulate these feelings.

Thanks for reading.